Arnaud: “It’s funny what your fetish can lead to”

Arnaud: “It’s funny what your fetish can lead to”

We have a special guest in our midst: Arnaud Houesnard. He was elected Mr. Leather Amsterdam 2014 and Mr. Leather Europe 2014 and loves leather and bondage. This 38-year-old will be performing at the Mister B. stage and found some time to chat with us about his fetishes and much more kinky stuff. 

Hi Arnaud! Please tell about your fetishes?
“I love the smell and look of leather, so that’s my main fetish! I also really dig tying up sexy guys, so I’ve also been doing bondage for quite a while. But you know, when you open yourself to being kinky, you get to discover more all the time. On occasions I’ve enjoyed sportswear and lycra, and also rubber. And I’ve even discovered recently that my dick jumps when my boy calls me “daddy”, so it keeps getting more interesting!”

Interesting indeed ;). How did you find out your weakness for these fetishes?
“I discovered the leather scene when I was 19, in Cologne. A friend took me to a leather bar called Stiefelknecht, where every guy was in gear, all around me. I had always been more attracted to guys if they wore a leather jacket or leather pants, but there it really hit me! There was also a fraternal and relaxed vibe, yet horny because they were all openly letting themselves be sexual beings. But I didn’t have a lot of money, so I couldn’t really buy the good stuff. It’s only around the age of 30 that I finally decided to got rid of my hangups, and I did a few modeling jobs for Mister B., which allowed me to pay for most of my gear.”

So it took a while before you had these cravings?

“No, not actually. I had my first bondage related “tingles” in my childhood, before I even knew I was gay. You know that classical scene in any Western movie where the cowboy has been tied up by the Indians — that image aroused me and haunted my nights, just like the desire of taking control over a classmate and doing whatever I want to him. I later tried to experiment with boyfriends, but it was difficult because I had to figure out how to do it well and safely, and I needed to learn the proper knots. So I joined one of the workshops organized by the Amsterdam Kink Academy around Amsterdam Leather Pride, where experimented people teach how to perform various BDSM techniques in a skilled, safe way. That was really a game changer; as I walked out, I was ready to play with rope!”

That sounds kinky! Can you say it enriched your life?
“Absolutely. Opening to my fetishes allowed me to expand my world, see adulthood under a different perspective, learn to be respectful and compassionate while being secure about who I am and what I want to do or not in sex. When you are honest with your desires and dare to live your fantasies, you are much less likely to suffer from being sexually frustrated. Mind you, some guys love to be frustrated and that’s how they get satisfied! But the acceptance of my kinks has only made my sex life more enjoyable, more diverse and more playful. And it’s a great way to meet very interesting guys from all horizons and social origins. There are naughty boys everywhere!”

You’ve been chosen as Mr Leatherman Amsterdam 2014 and Mr. Leather Europe 2014, amazing! How was this experience for you?
“It was truly amazing, and those years were the craziest of my life! The contest is a very important challenge. When you are more used to dark places like me, it’s not so easy to go on a stage and put yourself up for evaluation. At the election each judge has his own idea of the ideal candidate, but it all comes down to how passionate you are about your community, and the kind of representative you can be. So it is important to give a good impression of course, but also to be confident in your own qualities. I am so grateful for the experiences that these titles have given me. I have travelled more that I ever did before, all the way to Chicago where I competed for International Mister Leather! But the real journey was the change that this whole experience brought within me. Because I was often put out of my comfort zone, I had to become a better version of myself, so I have really grown from it. And now I have admirers all over the world!”

That is absolutely fantastic to hear. Is there a special story about your fetish you’d like to share?
“I was invited in May to be an extra on the Drag Queens United video organized by Lady Galore. We were a few “leather men” scattered through the video at Club NYX, and my part was to make out with another guy in the background, near the dance floor. We did dozens of takes so I spent basically an hour repeatedly making out with this sexy guy also in leather… but when you look at the video on YouTube, you don’t even see us, we are just blurry in the back! I’m not even disappointed; that time spent kissing him, like or lives depended on it, surrounded by a flock of drag queens, was truly unique and I will never forget it. It’s funny what your fetish can lead to!”

Sure! It also brings you to Milkshake. What are you going to do at the festival?
“On Saturday afternoon I’ll be giving free bondage experiences at the Mister B. tent, so if you want to give it a try, make sure to pass by! The rest of the time I’ll just wander around and see where the music takes me. I’d like to check out the Prince tribute, but the line up is so long that I haven’t had the time to give it a close look. There’s just so much to do at Milkshake, and I want to try as many attractions as possible!”

We’re looking forward to your bondage show. Would you like to do a shoutout? 

“To all the readers out there: don’t wait to be who you want to be. Life is short, so it’s important to take any occasion that opens for you. Get out there, get involved, this world is yours to make for yourselves. And Milkshake is the perfect moment for this, so get your tickets and join the fun!”

25 & 26 July Westerpark Amsterdam